Shopping for a Soul…

I find it interesting and disturbing how some people are obsessed with shopping for stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I like stuff but what is the real joy of the Christmas season that starts Thanksgiving weekend? It is a question I keep asking myself and I keep coming back to counting my blessings for my health, the health of my family, and my circumstances that I have spent a lifetime creating.

Over the past couple of years, Americans have paid down $150 billion in debt. This is a really good thing for individuals but problematic for an economy driven by retail sales. I believe we are in a re-adjustment period regarding spending habits. I don’t believe we are going to see the next generation with a closet full of shoes. I believe the next generation has all the stuff they need and more. Most of that stuff has been given to them by well intentioned parents. Even though as parents we may feel good about being able to give our kids a “comfortable” life, the kids are finding stuff “empty.”

Again, don’t get me wrong, they appreciate the stuff and the comforts of life but just like us, the next generation will find their own way to define themselves. I am not sure the trend is apparent yet, but I believe they will be more likely to want a simpler life, whatever that means. They see their parents working their tails off and living a very hectic life. I think they are going to search for more rewarding careers and be more community focused. Just look at all of the communities they already subscribe to on the internet.

I only hope they get off the internet and get into live forums where they can engage in real human activity. I think they are doing some of that but I think the internet and texting is stealing some of the childhood memories that normally come from exploring a park, hiking, or playing games on the streets of our cities and towns.

If you ask teens what they want for Christmas many of them are not sure because they already have too much. It seems to me the best gift we can give them is a family vacation, a personal note of why we love them, or simply our time. I am not sure that waiting in a “Black Friday” line to buy more stuff is going to be an activity future generations will be taking part in. We can only hope that the “stuff” life is made of will again take precedence in our next generation. Hugs anyone?

Second Born is not Second Fiddle…

I was the first born in my family of six kids. Being first born is not something we choose but more of a circumstance we adapt to. There are privileges and expectations for first born children just as there are for our second, third or fourth born and so on. We don’t always see it as we’re growing up but as we reflect on our lives, where we fit in the family order does impact the people we become.

I am currently reviewing a book my younger brother Kenny has written about his life growing up in the Bronx. He has written it for his kids to help them in their life encounters. It is very clever and real, and it has made me think about how different our perspectives are when we are kids growing up, and adults looking back.

In our lives as teens, the things we perceived to be important may seem unimportant as adults but they’re not. Think back on your childhood and in particular the High School years and remember how you felt during those times. For some it was a living hell, for others it was the best time of our lives, but for all of us it was very real. Even if we can look back today and laugh and know how insignificant it may have been, as parents we can’t forget how real it is for our teens.

I have been blessed with two healthy, smart, and talented children who are both living through the High School years. They seem to be doing well and are so busy with their friends and life, as a parent I can only assume everything is OK. Asking teens about their day doesn’t always produce the results we want but we keep asking. Leaving a door for discussion open.

Since my brother was not first born he tells a number of stories about feeling lost and insecure and wanting to reach out and how it seemed his older brother (me) seemed to “have it together”. It seemed to him that I received treatment and set expectations that he had to achieve. He has achieved so much and little did he know how much I respected what he did. But as a sibling not first born he saw things differently than I did. He may have even thought as a first child I received “special” treatment from my parents. I did but sometimes it meant babysitting my younger siblings rather than attending an event with my friends. It was not all peaches and cream.

I want my daughter to know that although I am proud of Taylor and his accomplishments I am proud of her too. She is unique and will be whatever she wants to be no matter what her older brother does. And as far as the pride we feel as parents, we are proud of her with all of the enthusiasm and love we have for our first born. Being second born is not second fiddle; it is just a different position in the family. Neither position is more important than the other; it’s just the order in which we were born…

Mom and Dad love you two dearly and we are proud of what each of you are accomplishing…

Family Time...

We had a great weekend in Vail! Nothing like spending quality time with the family in the beautiful surroundings of the great state of Colorado!

My Personal Best; Too!

I spent the last few days in Washington State at the Western Sectional Championship Meet at the Kings County Aquatic Center. My son Taylor qualified for sectionals in two events which allowed him to swim 4 events as well as swim time trials. All races count toward best times. I am extremely proud of his accomplishment to get to this event.

He is here with his coach Roger and team mate Jackie Cromer who has been accepted to Texas A&M and will be swimming for them in the fall. She has had a great meet as well. She has come back in a number of finals and we have had the chance to see Olympic Gold, Silver, and Bronze medalists and many Olympic trial qualifiers swim at this meet. The competition has been awesome.

Taylor just turned 15 this year and I know he has a great future in swimming if he continues the dedication he has shown at this meet!

He had best times in his, 200 Back, 200 Free, 100 Back, and 100 Fly. The only event that he struggled with was the 1000 Free.

The 200 Back which was a bonus event turned into another sectional time. He swam a 2:01:02. He swam the 100 Back twice, once in the main event and once as a time trial. He had best times in both. He swam a 57:22 in the first swim and a 56:74 in the time trial. He swam the 100 Fly and he swam a best time of 57:98 and his 200 Free was a best time of 1:53:05.

Overall he had a great meet. I am so proud of my two swimmers, and the discipline and dedication it takes to achieve swimming success. Watching this level of competition is humbling for many of these kids. I keep telling Taylor with a 4 second drop in his 100 back (that’s 1 second per 25 yd length) and a 7 second drop in his 200 Back (that’s less than a second per 25 yd length) he would have made the finals. Many of the finalists are 17 and 18 years old. He just turned 15. That gives him sufficient time to get where he wants to be. I know he can if he wants it.

In the meantime I am so proud of where he is now and how he got here - no matter what he chooses to do in the future. This son of mine is AWESOME!

Congratulations on a great meet!

The meet is over... Update

Taylor swam the 800 free in 9:11:74 which is a sectional qualifying time! He raced like I have not seen in his free style in a long time. He came in 13th of 24 and left 6th overall in his age group!

His finals in the 100 backstroke had him seeded 2nd and the times were 1st at 1:03:12, 1:05:14 (Taylor),1:05:42,1:05:45, 1:05:46, 1:05:54, 1:06:97, and 1:07:44. So as expected it was close. In the end he was 5th overall and he dropped his time to a sectional 1:04:54! Excellent swim with great competition!!

Overall a very successful meet for Taylor and a deserved break will be welcome but he will be itching for the pool sooner rather than later. Justine and I will take any break we can get!!

Thanks for the comments!! Taylor is at the final party for the event and I will have him check them out after he gets home. They have a rafting trip before getting on the plane tomorrow. That's all from Portland...

Update from Portland Oregon…

Out here at the Western Zone Championships on the final day of the competition and it has been a great meet for Taylor. He opened on Tuesday with a best time in the 1500 (mile) with a 17:45:96 placing him 11th out of 25 swimmers in his age group.

He has been the leadoff in 2 medley relays doing the backstroke and both have been best time splits at 31 seconds. He swam the 200 backstroke on Wednesday and placed 8th which brought him back in the finals where he again swam a best time to move him into 7th place overall at 2:21:42.

He swam the 200 free on Thursday and had a best time of 2:09:38 placing him in 18th out of 48 swimmers in his age group.

Friday he swam the 400 Free and swam his seed time 4:32:50 placing him 13th out of 25 swimmers in his age group.

Today we just finished the prelims for the 100 Back and Taylor qualified for the finals in 2nd place so he will be in lane 5 with one swimmer to beat for the championship. He made a sectional cut by taking 2 seconds off his seed time to place 2nd at 1:05:14.

We will be going back for his 800 free and 100 back finals to cap the meet.

Overall it has been a very proud parent week for Justine and I. We have not seen Taylor this pumped up for swimming in a long time. He has been having fun and swimming well. Emily has been a trooper and we have done a bunch of sightseeing between events.

Will finish this post when I can…

Three Children and You’re a Show Off?

This Washington Post article talks about the “stigma” associated with having more than 2 children. It discusses the absolute parental obsession with “stuff”. I really like the writer’s final conclusion but what really struck me was how off the mark we have gone when it comes to parenting and the family.

Family is about love and sharing each other with each other. We go through life together, create memories, laugh, cry, and fulfill each other’s spirits along the way. It is ultimately not about any of the stuff, even though a good education, and the occasional piano lesson is OK. We need to get back to some basics here. Let’s reduce the “stuff” and increase the love and the number of children we have because we want them to fill our houses with a sense of home.

Big families are not about being surrounded by stuff. Big families are about being surrounded by love. Just a thought…

Sending a Thought and Thanks…

I mailed a small Christmas package to my cousin Kathleen in Iraq today that my family put together, and it got me thinking. It got me thinking about how good we have it here because we have people like my cousin Kathleen, spending their holiday in Iraq, Afghanistan, and all around the world, protecting our God given freedoms. They often don’t see what they do the same way
I do, but I thank God every day for people like Kathleen.

Many soldiers like Kathleen are not political, and don’t equate what they do with the political landscape, but if it wasn’t for our soldiers protecting our liberties around the world, politics would be different. These soldiers allow us to be free from the tyranny of foreign governments, they allow us to bargain from a position of strength, and they allow us to argue our points without the threat of interference from those that might wish to take advantage of our differences. They are the confidence we hold when we choose to confront the evil of our world. It is because of them, we are respected around the world no matter what their critics say. Without our troops, the evil of this world would have no boundary.

Without these soldiers we risk a different and cruel world. Our soldiers show the rest of the world what it is to truly be American; selfless, compassionate, freedom loving, and the beacon of hope for all suppressed people of the world. Sometimes I wish the world would show more appreciation. I have to believe deep down the people that have been freed from the likes of Saddam, and the Taliban, do appreciate our efforts. To think otherwise would be too depressing.

So thank you Kathleen, thank you to all the soldiers and their families during this Christmas season, and every day, for keeping me and my family safe. I thank you for representing us around the world with such dedication and honor. And thank you Kathleen for teaching my children how important it is to make sacrifices for the freedom they enjoy. They love writing to you, and it fills my heart that they have such a wonderful pen pal and role model.

I hope everyone writes a letter to our troops to show them they are not alone. We are thinking of you here, over there, and we pray for your safety. God Bless…